Day Three, Athens

Dave told us the "traditional" Greek breakfast is coffee and a cigarette, so we don't expect much from our included breakfast in the hotel dining room. I'm pleasantly surprised to find more than a pack of Marlboros waiting for us downstairs and have some bread, an apple, a hard boiled egg, and some orange juice (which is not real orange juice, it's more like Tang).

Only about half of our tour is going on the Acropolis Tour, one of our optional excursions. It costs 15 euro and includes transportation, a guided tour of the Acropolis, a stop at the first Olympic stadium, and free time in the Plaka shopping area. I'm surprised so few people on our tour chose to do this. One of the main reasons I wanted to come to Greece (other than getting blind drunk and acting completely inappropriate for 2 weeks) was to see the Parthenon. I later find out many of the people who didn't join us had been in Athens for a few days and already done this. Other people chose to go shopping instead (?!?!).

Traffic is horrendous so the bus ride to the Acropolis takes almost an hour. We sit near the Perth boys and spend most of the time discussing American and Australian cultural differences. We tell them that yes, everyone in America drives an SUV and no, you can't buy guns in supermarkets (although Craig makes a good point you can buy a gun in Walmart). They tell us they have kangaroos in their backyards but I'm not dumb enough to fall for that. I find I really have to concentrate when talking to the Aussies at first. I have a hard time understanding most of what they're saying not only because of their accent but because they use so much slang. One of the funniest parts of our conversation was when Craig was asking about the presidential election. He asks who we're voting for and when we tell him we voted for John Edwards in the primaries he thinks we're talking about the psychic guy from Crossing Over! This is one of many conversations I have during the tour that reminds me the world does not revolve around the U.S.(example: when telling people where I live I say Miami and come to find that is the only city in Florida anyone has heard of and most people don't know Florida is the lovely penis-shaped land mass sticking off the bottom of the U.S.). Craig, however, knew a lot about the states because he watches a lot of C.S.I.!

We finally arrive at the Acropolis and meet our Greek tour guide Alex, a rather flamboyant and discursive older man. I would love to hear some interesting facts about the ancient wonders but I can understand roughly 30% of what comes out of Alex's mouth. I giggle every time he says "fact" because it sounds like "fucked" (ladies and gentelmen, I'm mature). We follow Alex up the steep, rocky pathway leading to the top of the Acropolis. I comment there's no way this place is handicapped accessible and then watch as the guy on our tour who's on crutches works his way to the top faster than I do.

At first it is hard taking everything in considering I have to focus on where I'm stepping in order not to fall on my ass. Once I get over the throngs of people and find a good vantage point, I'm completely blown away by the Parthenon. This has always been one of my "must see before I die" sights. It's massive and perfectly constructed. I ponder how the Greeks carried everything up this huge hill to build this and wish I could have understood Alex because he probably explained the construction process. Kelly and I take a ridiculous amount of pictures of both the ruins and the beautiful views of Athens. On our descent back to the bus I lose my footing and fall, fortunately catching myself and not tumbling down the steps. This was the first of my many sober falls, which cost me an assload of points (-2 points per sober fall).

We get on the bus and drive through Athens while hearing about some historical buildings. I find it hilarious one of the places Alex points out to us is the Athens Hilton (I apologize for not taking pictures of this most impressive Greek landmark). We stop at the first Olympic stadium and get time to hop out and take pictures. This is pretty cool to see and it's still used for events. Amazingly it holds around 60,000 people.

For our next stop we're given a few hours in the Plaka district which is one of the nicer areas of Athens and known for its shopping and restaurants. Kelly and I walk around with the Perth boys in search of a place for lunch. I spot a few familiar stores on our walk, like H & M and Sephora. Practically everything in Greece is labeled in English. This is both convenient but frustrating as the only word I learn in Greek is kalimera (good morning). We really have no reason to attempt butchering the language since everyone we approach speaks English. We settle on a restaurant solely for the fact it serves gyros. I have a chicken gyro and my first Coke Light (much to my disappointment it tastes little like Diet Coke). Tzatziki sauce in Greece is utterly orgasmic and I can eat the stuff by itself. During lunch I find out the Perth boys also say "that's what she said." We're really not that different afterall...

After lunch we walk to Syntagmata Square and almost die while crossing the street to the parliament building to watch the changing of the guards. These poor guys wear the most ridiculous, non-threatening uniforms. The area is covered with pigeons and I sense Kelly's fear of another fly by pooping. The changing of the guards is entertaining and includes some pretty outlandish walking. We still have time to kill so we book it a few blocks to the Temple of Zeus. It's worth seeing but it's nothing more than a few columns in the middle of a huge gravel field. We meet back up with our group and its a much shorter bus ride back to the hotel. During the ride I find out Staker is also a devout Lionel Richie fan and he, like myself, owns a shirt emblazoned with the man himself! This greatly excites me as I realize I won't have to hide my ipod for fear of ostracization.

Everyone makes plans to go to the hotel pool when we return but first Kelly and I take a walk in search of an ATM since she will finally be able to take out money (word to the wise: don't wait until the day you leave town to tell your bank you're leaving the country... or just be like me and do absolutely nothing and still have your ATM card work). After we find an ATM and she successfully withdraws money (yay!)we spot our first European mullet and I admit it's probably the fanciest mullet I've ever seen. We point and laugh and continue on to a small supermarket to buy booze and snacks. We buy Stoli vodka, a liter of Sprite, some sort of citrus punch, bagel chips, a few bottles of water, and ice. I think it costs only 16 euro for all of that, which is insane because ordering one mixed drink with Stoli in this same neighborhood would almost cost that much. We go back to our room to change and fashion a cooler out of our trash can (classy!).

There's a decent crowd already at the pool. Kelly and I fix ourselves drinks with the vodka, sprite and fruit punch. We name our new drink "the muppet", which we learned earlier is slang for an asshole/moron in Australia. I soon whip out my ipod speakers and everyone seems to appreciate my cheesy music (note: one of the best things I brought on this trip were my ipod speakers, we used these almost constantly). We meet a couple who are on their honeymoon, Layne and Teneal. At first I'm dumbfounded as to why someone would go on a Contiki for their honeymoon but as soon as I see these two downing vodka tonics it becomes clear that they belong in our group. We're supposed to meet with Dave in the lobby by 5 p.m. to sign up and pay for our optionals so we drunkenly make our way inside. We decide to do every optional except for the Santorini day tour, volcano cruise, and the first group dinner. The optionals we sign up for cost 169 euro total. While we're waiting to sign up we meet Scotty (the guy on crutches) and find out he twisted his ankle after drunkenly falling between two boats while in Croatia. His foot is swollen and pretty gross and he tells us he's waiting for the Greek doctor to come write him a prescription. Given my track record I worry this will be me within a few days only I will make a much worse patient. We head back to the pool and continue to drink our faces off and have a great time with everyone.

We decided not to do the group dinner tonight since it costs 39 euro and is all the way back in central Athens. Instead we go back to the area we went out at last night to have dinner with the Ohio girls, Perth boys, and Jose (our fellow South Florida resident). We find a very reasonably priced but trendy restaurant called something like Oscar Brassiere that also happens to be playing kickass 80s music. Dinner is fantastic and cheap. I have risotto with chicken and broccoli and split a bottle of wine with a few others. It ends up costing me only 18 euro. We call it an early night and rest up before heading to Mykonos the next morning. But first, upon reaching the front of the hotel, we're greeted by Layne and Teneal on their balcony... wearing nothing but their underwear! They're hammered and had just gotten back from the optional group dinner. I decide I'm in love with the two of them.